Being a virgin later in life can be, perhaps above all things, an incredibly isolating experience. Some people grew up in religious communities or single-sex schools, which made sex more elusive or taboo. Other people felt unattractive or insecure growing up. Struggles with health, sexual orientation, and gender dysphoria were also common.
‘I have always fallen for people who are unavailable’
Keith McDorman walks into the back room of an Austin, Texas coffee shop. With his dirty-blond hair, light eyes, week-old beard, and striped button-down shirt, he looks like a younger, shorter, bohemian version of Bradley Cooper. He tosses his scooter helmet onto the wooden table, sits across from me at a booth that barely fits us both, and talks before I ask a question. That statement brings glances from studying college students. We opt for more privacy by heading outside, where we talk over a live rock band at a high table near a vegan food truck.
If it seems as though taboos about sex have lifted in these ostensibly open-minded times, there is one that holds steady: the stigma over never having had sex. It may be that later-in-life virginity is dismissed as a problem with an easy fix. And the most recent data available, from , suggests that just 2. Yet there are many reasons that a thirty or fortysomething might never have had sex, says Libby, a year-old Canadian. It could be due to a childhood of abuse, or physical health issues like cerebral palsy, or a religious upbringing, or even lack of comprehensive sex education. When she was well, she found that medication — for her mental health, and oral contraceptives to mitigate her very painful periods — wiped out her libido. Richard also identifies poor mental health as a factor in his virginity. He is now on antidepressants and — following substance abuse in his 20s — sober. Dating apps are no solution — for him or many others.
The average person has sex for the first time around age 17 , but some don't engage in intercourse until much later in life. Certain people intentionally abstain from sex while others, like Steve Carell's memorable character in "The 40 Year-Old Virgin," can't seem to make it happen. But what does it mean if you don't have sex until later in life? Though some people pride themselves on waiting until they're older maybe until marriage, or until a stable relationship to have sex, there is also a social stigma surrounding late in life virginity. This can cause late in life virgins to experience shame, Dr.