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Hi, guys. The young woman in the picture is full-figured. Pleasingly plump. There is something about fat women, but most especially fat black women that makes people extremely uncomfortable. Why is that? Every day, no matter what topic I am writing about or discussing, it is inevitable that a detractor will come along and try to fight me. They realize very quickly that they are not going to be able to successfully argue me on the merits of my points, so when all else fails, they fall into fat insults.
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The first time I was called a fat fuck by someone I loved I was staying at a five star Spanish hotel, a Parador, which had once been a nunnery or a castle; but now, this place was a five-star hotel offering five star gastronomic experiences at a restaurant just off of the lobby. The Parador also offered a totally kick-ass tennis court overlooking a valley thick with wine grapes that produced also amazingly kick-ass wine—Bierzo, if I remember correctly, but it might also have been Rioja or Tempranillo. The spring and summer of I had spent nearly every single night in a five-star hotel somewhere in the world, and now it was August and I was in Spain with a woman I had been falling in love with since April after fucking her at a book fair in Los Angeles. We never fucked at the book fair, but at my five-star book fair hotel, where also I drank scotch for breakfast with Martin Amis and Christopher Hitchens, after meeting the woman called Ava the night before, she who also drank breakfast scotch with Martin and Christopher as we waited for our cars to arrive and take us to LAX. My impulse was to just hit some balls and not bother with scoring. And scoring at tennis seemed so aggressive. However, Ava insisted we keep score because she had gone to private school in Miami. Miami: where her mother was a doctor who worked for the coroner and her father tried to overthrow Castro from the comfort of his favored seat at Versailles, where once I did eat the finest ropa-vieja on the planet; however, we all agreed the flan was subpar. The political and military intrigues of the old men tended to go nowhere fast, as the decades continually tell us. But Ava and I did not.